Easter Love, Easter Struggle, Easter Forgiveness

I Love Easter.  For me it means a new chance, and a new start.  But what does this new start mean when I know that I will not change my ways.  I know that I will continue to be with men behind my wife's back.  Jesus Died for our sins.  

What I struggle with, is "Did he die for our sins so we can continue to sin over and over and over again?"  The same thing. Continue to do things that you think and you are taught are not moral.  

I struggle with praying in church with images of this man in my head. Literally.  I want a clean mind and heart, but I do not have it.  So I have to continue to believe that God forgives me.

Here is what I always think about.  There are people who continue to gossip, and tell lies, and do not love their neighbors as they do themselves.  They will continue to sin, and do these things.  Will they make it to heaven?  I think I have as much of a shot as they do. 

Easter is about forgiveness.

Comfort

I know it is not often people quote the Bible in the blogs I follow, but this was the text that the pastor spoke about on Sunday.  It made me feel good.  We all need comfort.  We find it in a lot of different places. 

I can find it sometimes in food.  I know that I need to eat less of it, but I'm finding comfort in it these days.  I find comfort in the things that are familiar with me, sometimes that is in "sinful" activities, but I do find comfort in being alone with myself.  I also find comfort in lying in bed with my wife, just being with her.  Last night, my daughter said she loved that we were eating dinner as a family.  I know that she found comfort in that.

Random Family having dinner together.

I need to find more comfort in the fact that God is a loving God, and give us comfort.  He comforts us whether we are gay or straight or bi.  Even if we are sinners....

Isaiah 40

Comfort for God’s People

¹ Comfort, comfort my people,
says your God.
² Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and proclaim to her
that her hard service has been completed,
that her sin has been paid for,
that she has received from the LORD’s hand
double for all her sins.


Peace!