Stuck- Not allowed to complain, or get upset.

Hey all,  I may have written about this before, but more and more, I find that I'm stuck. I many times want to ask my wife to do something different, or get mad because of the way she says something.  She often will say, "Well that is a stupid question.  You should have known that." 

Last night was an example.  She gave me grief about a task I asked her about, and I got upset at her, for being mean and disrespectful in her reply.  I didn't just shut my mouth, as I usually do, but continued to tell her I didn't like it when she made me feel stupid.  Her reply is, "I don't like lots of things about you and I have to just live with them.  So I don't care." 

So now I'm back to this wimpy kid, that is hiding something, and I have to relys on her to keep my secret.  I can't express what I feel, because she always has that "One Secret"...  the Ace that trumps everything. 

I don't want out really.  I love where I live, who I live with, everything just the way it is.  Ohhh yeah, except that I want to have emotional feelings and a connection with a man.... ohhh yeah, I forgot about that one....  I always think,  "I've suppressed it this long, and am able to cure it from time to time with a one night thing.  Why can't I just continue?"

I'm Stuck --------