Phone Sex - Imagination at its best

Well since I haven't been traveling much, I have been masturbation more at home.  Sometimes porn just isn't enough, I need something else.  I really think my progression into the gay sex world revolves around phone sex.  

When I was younger and into my early 20s I only played with a few guys.  No actual sex, but played around.  Then later before I was married, I found this cool thing called "Phone Sex".  Of course this cost money, and at first, just like in porn I dabbled in the straight stuff.  It was straight mostly because it was the only thing I could find at the time. It also cost money though so I limited myself.

Later on I found a chat line where it didn't cost money, and I could find a guy to chat with.  We were both calling for pleasure and so neither was a paid performer.  I had a certain guy who gave me his phone number, and let me call whenever I wanted.  Of course that was before caller id, put I used this gay line alot.

Then came marriage, and not much phone sex, because I was having the real thing.  Then after children, that slowed down, and I turned to chat on the internet.  No speaking, but typing in chat rooms.   This turned to more phone sex, but not costing anything.

THEN... I had to have more....  I had to have the real thing, and it was easier to find.   Then comes my slut phase.

Now to today...  I'm back to phone sex.  It is free, and most of the time more enjoyable than porn.  I get to image me and a man naked together, making love, fulfilling our passionate fantasies.  It is one of the greatest things ever.  I image a very beautiful man, and I (still in my 20s) making passionate love. In reality it would be two old men with flaccid penises playing with each other. But for a moment it is real, and beautiful.  I love partaking is some good passionate sex.

The only thing about it while being in a relationship, is that then there is a feeling of relief and guilt that you are not spending that energy on your partner.  I do try to time it so it will work with my real life, but also sometimes it gets in the way of work.


If anyone wants to know which ones I use, let me know and I'll put it in the comments.

Life.....................

As I posted earlier, my life has been busy.... Today is a lazy rainy Sunday morning, and so I thought I would type to you all.

Let's go back a month in time. I was to be in the Denver area all week.  I was on a drive along with my boss for a couple days.   One day I was stressing about the drive along, I was stopping in talking with clients and soon time got away.  That sensation that says go to the bathroom was dismissed, and the feeling goes away.  After a while I finally find the need and relieve myself.


Not thinking anything about it, I continue to work.  I do as normal and watch some porn in my room each night for three nights.... well of course that leads to some great LONG masturbation and edging. So three nights of some great edging.

The meeting was over, and I decided that Friday, after the meetings were over earlier than I thought I would stop by the men's spa before heading to the airport.  I had time to make sure I was ready anything before I left the hotel.  It was pretty busy at the spa... come on, it was Friday.  I got naked and headed to the showers.

I love getting naked in front of other men, it is such a turn on.  I headed to the room where there are lots of mattresses and porn playing.  Seeing not much going on, I walked around some.  I decided to spend a little time in the steam room.  I like it there, but I usually can't see shit.... I have to take my glasses off, and am pretty blind.  Finding nothing going on there, I took another shower, and walked around some more.  I found a guy to suck on in another area, and saw there was someone in a glory hole booth. I headed to the one next to him.

He "fingered" the hole, and I put my cock in.  His mouth was nice an warm... I enjoyed his sucking.  I then noticed he was stroking me with his hand, and felt something different.  I enjoyed the new sensation, but then realized this was no mouth.  I pulled out and saw his ass there.... of course I didn't have a condom on.

Now.  I love to top, about as much as bottoming, but usually can't keep it up with a condom on.  So I do love to fuck raw.   I just have not done it for years, and don't know if I will ever again.  I was kind of pissed, but thought, ass in front of me, and it has been slow, so I fingered his hole for a while.  He was so fucking loose.  I could have gotten quite a few fingers in there.  That made me a little nervous. If his hole is loose, he has to be "loose".

So I moved on.  A guy later on walked up in a tight area, and grabbed my bulge.  i responded in a positive manner and we started kissing.  We headed to a room, and got some lube.  we started to kiss and it was hot.... feeling, and sucking, and kissing.  I could soon tell he was a bottom.  Well, I put on my cock ring, wrapped up the only dong and lubed things up.  I pushed in his tight hole and fucked him for a while.  It was nice.  I loved it.  but as is normal, my covered cock became flaccid.    I got it up one more time put on another condom. and fucked him for  a little longer.  We then sucked again for a while.  I enjoyed it, but I told him we needed to both go find a hot top to fuck us.

I  had spent most of my time there, and not found anyone to fuck me, so I saw a guy who was sucking a hot dude. I sat next to him and as soon as he was done slurping down one guys cum, he started on me.  I loved him sucking me off to conclusion.   It was fun having a guy suck me while other were watching.

I would rather have a more intimate time with a man, but sometimes this is pretty hot.

I got dressed and made it to the airport.  Left town and all was fine, except my bladder had been stretched, and my prostate had a workout.  I continued to have discomfort in my belly and kidney area.  I started to get worried about what that loose hole had.  After the feeling did not leave, I decided I better get tested.  I have done the online testing before and it worked well, but of course I have to find time to get my blood drawn without being detected.   I figured it out and paid through western union and got the test done.

As you can imagine, the wait was crazy.  It did come back the third day after the test. On a Saturday.  It was glorious.  only Herpes 1 which is the cold sore type.  I have probably had that for ever.

I do want to plug the testing I used.  I used stdtestexpress.com  .   They were extremely helpful when I called, and although I didn't use it, they will help you get prescriptions if you need something to clear something up.  The wait was the worst, but it was exactly three days till I got the test back.  I had it done about 3:00 on a Wednesday at a Quest clinic. The results came on a Sunday about 1:00. I called a sexual health counselor, and asked about the results, and a few other things.  Cost was $225 which wasn't too bad.  I know you can get HIV for free other places, but this was nice to get the ones that are harder to find unless you go to a free health clinic.

Now to get rid of the bladder problem.

My wife and I have been doing well, and I think we need to be more intimate and now I can.  I also need to find a way to loose some weight.  I also got a letter that says it is time for a colonoscopy.

Well there you go the short story of the last month.  

That's the way a hook up should be

Hey all.  I was hanging out in a new state for me.  Landed in Pittsburgh and drove for a couple hours to the middle of know where PA.  Got in the hotel and logged on to A4A like I always do.  I noticed a guy was on my screen only a couple hundred feet away.  Anymore, I am more of the wait and see type guy.

I did just that... went and ate, and was helping myself to some porn, but watching the A4A just in case.  I noticed the close guy came back on again.  I took the leap and messaged him, and said "You seem to be close."

Not him, but a good depiction.

We chatted and he was in my hotel, on my floor.  I told him I would love some company, and he said he would rather see me before he agreed to anything.  So we met at the ice machine.  He was a little younger than me, bald (YES MAN), nice looking.  When he saw me, he asked if I wanted a drink.  I said sure.

We went to his room, and the only bad was he smoked.  But he offered a drink and we drank it, and talked a little.  When we were done, he said, "Let's give this a try.

Not me, but look at those eyes!

I was heaven!  I nice guy... kissing, hugging, getting naked.  We do only oral, and hot body contact.... he loved it, I loved it...  We rolled on the bed, made out, played naked for a long time. He came on my face!!!! I shot across the room!!!!  It was really nice.

This is how it should be... Spontaneous, not forced,

A couple weeks later I went back to Denver's Men's Spa.  It was pretty dead, but net some nice guys this time. Got off, sucked but was not fucked.  Boooo!!!!  But I did fuck an older guy for a while.  At the end this younger guy came up to me.  He did not want me to touch him.   So fucking weird.  He had a Viagra hard cock.. I sucked him a little, and he was a shove it down my throat type.  I had just came, and wasn't really into it, and luckily he left.  It was an good experience.

Hope everyone had a good Christmas.

Size does matter!!!!

I was reading some Facebook posts the other day talking about passwords, and how horrible it is that we must change them periodically. And they were talking about how to make them secure.  I posted a post saying "Size does matter."  This is because it does for passwords.  Well for cocks, IT MATTERS.

It has been a long time for me since I hooked up with a top, and enjoyed his manhood inside of me.  I was craving it sooooo much.  Well I was in a college town of about 50,000 the other night, and I had several good offers.  I found a guy who had "by his measurements" 9 inches.  I wanted to make it work with a man of his size, but was afraid that since it has been at least a couple years since that has occurred that this may not.  Well we made arrangements and got together.  I passed on a 6 inch versatile bottom because no matter how much he wanted to, I bet it would have not ended like I had hoped.

Well let me tell you.  It was 9 inches.... I was so happy that I could enjoy his manhood the whole way.  I did REALLY enjoy it too.... WOW.  Size Does Matter.

PS.  After I had came all over his chest, he did one thing that I really don't like.  He continued to rub my slippery wet supper sensitive head.... I asked him to stop, but he didn't want to... I wanted to please him, so I let him. Ohhhh and he didn't kiss either... So there were somethings that were a little annoying, but I was happy he showed up.

PSS. I am trying not to have a hook up all the time, but there are times I just need the touch of a man....

PSSS.  Things around the house are okay.... working our butts off.  I have a lot of work to do, and am going to be on the road for the next 3 to 4 weeks of and on.

Confusing as Hell

I'll tell you. As soon as I have this figured out, something comes along, and changes my mind. I'm in a pretty happy spot right now, but I can tell my wife is stressed beyond belief. She will say things like "I'm about to break." and "I need to find a good place.". We both are gaining weight, and I'm sure part of it is she is not happy.

I keep saying I'm good with where I'm at. I am but I don't want to be the one that is keeping her in an unhappy place. Also my father in law was just diagnosed with a form of cancer. Chemo should take care of it, but he takes care of so much for us. I think this is putting so much more pressure on her. Her parents are her rock! Remember, they know about me.

I had a 15 or 20 minute talk with an acquaintance today. In the day we used to fuck around with a group of guys, He had been married for 30 years had four kids, and was a preacher. He is now retired and gave me some good advice.

The biggest take home is I sm not going to change. I knew that, but I think my wife needs to know it. I have come to realize that maybe we need a plan. An exit plan if you will.

I also talked about the coming out process with my friend. I told my wife I want to live like I am. And not as a gay man. But aft we taked, I think that may be fine for a while, but I think I will have to actually tell the people I am closest with that I am gay.


Not live a big fat gay life. Just a life, and by the way, I'm gay.

Scared in the closet

Recently I was volunteering for an organization in my town.  We have an event that we dress up and "scare" people.  Have a haunted "house."  The event requires the people participating to stay sitting as we walk around and interact with the people in costume for about an hour.  They are usually not in costume.

Well the other night there were about 4 gay couples on this "ride".  They had all came together and were dressed pretty nice.  (Several in white. I didn't get that.  It was a haunted ride and they were in white?)  They were displaying affection, in a very nice way.  I think that was fine, didn't bother anyone around me that I could see, or hear.  After all there were many hetro people on the ride that did the same thing.  I thought that was great and refreshing even. 

I think what became unnerving for some was that their conversations had to be about sex, and cocks. I was standing staring them down, because that is what my character did.... and they were hot. One of the  guy's who I would say was very fem, and was probably the mouthiest, said something about the last cock he had and that it was big and not cut. His partner put his legs up in the air, exposing his ass, implying that I should give it to him. I think it got worse later on in the evening, but I had moved on. I know they had been drinking and were a little loose with the lips, but most of it was uncalled for. There were children on the ride as well, not sitting too close, but they were on the ride.

I actually didn't mind it, (You know I wanted to join in, but we were in a public place, and I knew all of the people volunteering.) but the fact that this is how most people perceive gay men is what keeps many of us scared Midwesterners in the closet.  If I am out, I don't want to be one of the obnoxious loud gay guys. I want to live my life as I did before, why does it have to be so obvious that I'm gay.  I want to sit on the ride, and if I don't hold the hand of the partner I'm with know one would really know.  It is not because I'm ashamed, it would be because I'm not all about public display of affection.  Especially when there are kids around.

So Yep I'm scared in the closet. 






Thanks to Ray's Cowboys for the pics.