Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Small Town Hook-up Problems

Last week I was in  a small town working all week.  I head there about once a quarter.  When I say small I mean about 1,500 people.  There is a small hotel or two, and some restaurants, etc....

Well when cruising adam4adam I saw that there was a 25 year old that was within a mile from me.  I ignored it as I usually do in the small town.  I thought I would wait for him to contact me.  I chatted with at least one other guy, but he was 45 miles away or so.  After the first night of alone time, and the second this young man messaged me.  We started chatting, and I told him I might be free the next night.

He wanted to see face pics which I'm reluctant to send, but after some more coaxing I relented and sent him several pictures.  He was eager to meet, as he likes "older guys".  One thing I am smart to do is to not give a room number until I am completely sure it is going to happen.  I hate the feeling that someone knows where I am and I don't want to meet them.

Well the time initially was 7:30.  But he said it would have to wait till later.  I agreed and we decided till about 9:30 or so.  During this time I decided to do some looking on Facebook for him.  He had given his real name on his e-mail.  I found his profile, and it all looked good.  Then I started reviewing his public pictures.  SHIT.  He was related somehow to one of the people I was dealing with at the job I was working. I decided that this was no good, and sent him a quick e-mail that said, "Something came up at home, and I need to deal with it.  We can't meet.

I still freaked a little because he had my picture, but I figured that he was willing to be discrete in a small town, he would have a lot to loose as well, knowing that he was going to hook-up with an old man.

Lesson Learned.... Again....   I think I am done hooking up....   Well probably not, but I do become more and more picky. My rules only.  

Life at home is interesting, as things are so up in the air.  I think my wife and I both need each other right now.  It has been 6 months since her father passed, and now family issues with selling their house.  My wife consistently is looking at new places to move, just because she is bothered by being here.  I think it is memories of her dad, plus this place is soooooooo much work for us.  I guess the good thing is it keeps us distracted from the real problems going on.



  1. When you go back home, I think you should tell the kid the truth about why you flaked out. It's probably hard enough being gay in a small town, with no one to talk to. Your sudden disappearance didn't help.

    1. You are probably right. I always am afraid of retaliation, as he has my picture.... It sounded like in his last e-mail he was cool with it.

  2. I found your small-town hookup account amusing. Even when one lives in large cities such things happen. An acquaintance of mine is a college professor in Philadelphia. He said that he walked into a crowded gay bar recently and discovered that several of his graduate students were there by looking at grindr. He pulled his profile and blocked them all.

  3. I guess it could happen anywhere. I need to block this guy next time I go to the town again.....

  4. It's a small world after all.......