Friday, January 31, 2014

Trying to work

I need to be pressured to get work done.

For what ever reason, I do most of my work when I'm under pressure of a timeline.  So, here I am on my computer typing, when I have numerous things to do.

I am going to put off my self pleasure for the day, and do some work.  Wish me luck.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Stay up late on computer

During my hay day of cruising and hooking up, I would stay up late on the computer watching porn and cruising adds as  my wife slept. Last night, my wife went to be early and I stayed up late.  I was on the computer, but I was actually doing book work.  I didn't even check my private e-mail or cruise sites.

Part of the reason is that I work from home, and do it during the day, but the other thing, I know that my wife would be really worried if I was up late, and I wanted to be "clean".

I do try to be very considerate of what will set off triggers for her, and late night on the computer is one of them.  I recently bought a new TV for the basement, but I don't feel like I can go down there and watch TV without her, because she may think I'm up to something.  She has this habit of going to the bedroom to watch TV early, and I hate to go to the bedroom unless it is for sleep or sex. So I tell her this, and sit in the other room to watch TV.

Other news.  I think we are going to start eating better.  I need to loose about 25 lbs.  Last time was on the low carb diet, but my wife wants to try just healthier.  We will see how it works.  My only worry is that I will feel more comfortable with my body, and be more likely to show it off and hook up.  I guess we will see if I can loose the weight first, then we will worry about the next problem.


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Two Men Hugging

I watched the video of Maclemore and Ryan Lewis for the first time today... Really had never heard it before.  I know I'm lost in another world.

Well it was magnificent.  When I was watching the Grammy's I was glad that it was not live, so I could fast forward through it.  I was with my wife.

Great song, and so true.  I'm living the problem.  The most powerful part of the video is when the two men hug, and you know that is what it feels like to be right with the world.

Things are still good, I just hope that others don't have to continue to go through what I have.

Love to all.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Long time

Hey guys!  I have not posted in a long time.  I guess that is a good thing.  I'm really settling back into the married life as a gay man.

So what has been happening?  Well, mostly boring stuff.  I have been traveling, and finding a play partner here and there, but have mostly realized that I need to make sure I keep to a really high standard.  When you get to my age (upper 40s) not just anyone wants to get together, and those that do, you have to make sure they are not dead beats, or ugly, or weird.  I have stayed to real safe stuff.

Personally my wife and I are getting into the groove of our new life, one with running the farm by ourselves and with our daughter in college.  It is pretty stressful without her dad to help with the farm, but in some respects, she needs me more to help out.

So.........  Boring here........