Showing posts with label down low. Show all posts
Showing posts with label down low. Show all posts

Monday, April 11, 2016

Fuck count is WAY off this year

I'm a numbers guy....   And I find these statistics interesting. I'm enjoying myself a lot more this year.  The reasons I'm not having sex with other people are apparent to me.  I am not traveling as much to places that allow me to hook-up.  Also when I go, I will not be paying for sex, so that will limit the number of guys.  As far as my wife, it will be less because of age. We are having issues that don't allow for it as much...  We need to figure that out. 

I guess I'll be doing lots of this.



This is the number of days between ejaculations in each activity.

                    2015            2016 YTD     

Alone          4.11                   4.08
Man           16.22                 34.00
Wife           36.40              102.00
Total            3.17                   3.52

Friday, April 1, 2016

Secret Friends.....

I often think about the people I meet online, and otherwise that I become friends with.  Most of the time these friendships are short lived, or I have limited interactions with them.

One in particular, I e-mail about twice every year, just to check in.  He is about 10 years older than me, but we met in a chat room looking for phone sex in about 1998.   He lived in New Jersey, but worked in New York City.  I have no clue which website we met on, but we spoke on the phone and got off together many times back then.  It was pretty exciting.  I remember when the terrorist attacks on 9-11 happened.  He was the first person I thought of.  I couldn't call him at work until the next day or so.  He wasn't that close to the bombings, but it effected him.

We talked through the coming out to our wives, and how life is going.  I have never met the guy.  I would love to do that, not that much to have sex, but just to talk.


I have another friend that I have not talked to in over a year.  He lives in a town close to me, and we used to talk daily.  We first met to have sex, but ended up in the end we just talked about who we did or couldn't do etc...  I think we met in 2003 or so.  Once I came out to my wife I stopped talking to him, because my wife was suspicious of me.  It was easier.  I miss our conversations.  He has since divorced, and came out.  Last I knew he was living with a guy and was quite happy.  We are not more like old friends, although there was a time I would have considered him like a brother.

I often wonder if I was on my own, and out to everyone, how these friendships would blossom, or change.  Would I expect more out of them?  Would the continue?  I think they would.

Now I think those friendships are happening on this blog.  The people who read mine, and those that I read.   The conversation is a bit more public, but it still meets that need.

But it is interesting how the "life in secret" works.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Stay up late on computer

During my hay day of cruising and hooking up, I would stay up late on the computer watching porn and cruising adds as  my wife slept. Last night, my wife went to be early and I stayed up late.  I was on the computer, but I was actually doing book work.  I didn't even check my private e-mail or cruise sites.

Part of the reason is that I work from home, and do it during the day, but the other thing, I know that my wife would be really worried if I was up late, and I wanted to be "clean".

I do try to be very considerate of what will set off triggers for her, and late night on the computer is one of them.  I recently bought a new TV for the basement, but I don't feel like I can go down there and watch TV without her, because she may think I'm up to something.  She has this habit of going to the bedroom to watch TV early, and I hate to go to the bedroom unless it is for sleep or sex. So I tell her this, and sit in the other room to watch TV.

Other news.  I think we are going to start eating better.  I need to loose about 25 lbs.  Last time was on the low carb diet, but my wife wants to try just healthier.  We will see how it works.  My only worry is that I will feel more comfortable with my body, and be more likely to show it off and hook up.  I guess we will see if I can loose the weight first, then we will worry about the next problem.

Peace!


Friday, January 24, 2014

Long time

Hey guys!  I have not posted in a long time.  I guess that is a good thing.  I'm really settling back into the married life as a gay man.

So what has been happening?  Well, mostly boring stuff.  I have been traveling, and finding a play partner here and there, but have mostly realized that I need to make sure I keep to a really high standard.  When you get to my age (upper 40s) not just anyone wants to get together, and those that do, you have to make sure they are not dead beats, or ugly, or weird.  I have stayed to real safe stuff.

Personally my wife and I are getting into the groove of our new life, one with running the farm by ourselves and with our daughter in college.  It is pretty stressful without her dad to help with the farm, but in some respects, she needs me more to help out.

So.........  Boring here........  


Thursday, October 13, 2011

People Watching

Are you like me?  I am sitting at a Panera, watching people.  I love to watch people, but mostly Men.  It drives my wife crazy, because she thinks I'm always watching the guys.  Okay.  I am.  But it still drives her crazy. 

Two men meet, shake hands. One is is shorts and a sports team logo shirt and shorts, while the other one is in a suit.  They order tea and a coffee. Sit down so I can see "watch" them. I try hard to hear what they are saying.  The first thing I think is, are the meeting for the first time?  Are they going to meet here and see if it is a fit to hook up?  Both have wedding rings.  can't really tell what they are saying but it seems they know each other.   hmmm...

Another nice looking guy with a ring and a polo shirt sits in the corner, his computer screen faces the wall.  Is he trying to find a hook up on Craigslist?  I see him when he leaves.  I think he looks me over, when he leaves. 

two more men meet and one eats.  The other has a coke.  only one has a wedding ring.  They go outside to eat, and talk. 

I see a nice looking shorter man come in with shorts and a running shirt.  He has really hairy legs.  I love hairy legs.  Is he gay?  He may be.  Another man comes in alone with his computer.  He is bald with a goatee.   He is HOT.  I love bald men.  He is pretty tall as well.  I love looking at him.  He was going to sit right next to me, but then he gets up and leaves.  DAMN. 

A nice looking man has been painting since I got here.  He has great biceps.  He just looked at me and smilled.  Does he want me.  NO... Damn.  He is talking with one of the female workers. here.  They are together.  

It goes on, and on.  No wonder I can't work in a public place.   I'm too busy.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The internet on the DL, and why random get togethers

I started on that spiral of the hook up, when the Internet started to be available to all.  I started on chat lines, and moved to phone, and then to the real thing.  Technology has been easier and easier as it went along.  No wonder my wife hates technology. I can't speak for all married men, but the ones that I have talked to turn to random hook ups because they are easy to get out of.  There is now emotion, just immediate needs are met.  I did have some buddies, but we eventually became friends and not "buddies".  If you know what I mean. I got my need met and would not have any expectations afterwards. 

The other thing that attracted me to a random thing is the adrenaline rush.  The rush of the hunt, the rush of the unexpected, the rush of the newness.  You knew at the end of the encounter what to expect. I have always felt pretty safe with the people I have found as well.  I think maybe only once I thought, "Get me the hell out of here." But for the most part very respectful and safe.

Short today.  More later.  Thanks if you are reading.