Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Letter to my daughter

I'm not ready to send it, but I think I should start thinking about a letter to my daughter about who I am, and why I am where I am.  Then if/when I am forced out of the closet, or want to come out, it is ready, and it doesn't have to be written with so much emotion.  My daughter would not be able to sit and have a conversation with me, so I think I would need to start that way.

She is about 18, and an only Child.

Do you have any suggestions, or good finds in the blog world that would help?

Let me know....

Monday, November 26, 2012

Out Q - Gay Radio

I listen to out Q out XM radio a lot when I'm on the road.  Not always because of the "gay" talk, but because it is entertaining.  They other day.  My wife decided to take my car to work, and I had left the station on OutQ.

She called very upset.  We had a brief conversation on the road about how I need to just go and be happy.

We had more discussion about the "gay" topic then we have in a long time.

The one thing I told her that sticks in my mind.  Is I'm Okay with me, how I am right now.  But I hate that she got so hurt by it. Physically and emotionally.  She says she will NEVER trust anyone again.  Probably won't.

Not much more to say.  Could be a wild Christmas.  

I know we will be having a talk soon about where we go.  I think this took the scab off of the wound.

I'm putting on a brave face every day.  Don't know where this will lead.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Going Well... For Me...

Life is going well for me.  I think my wife is still about to break.  I don't know how to fix her.  That is what men do, fix.

With her dad being sick, maybe moving into town, and just not sure about me, even though I continue to assure here, she is still on the edge.  We signed the post-nup.... I think that helped some, from a financial security side.

I think there are many changes happening from her parents side.  They are thinking end of life thoughts.  Not living to make their quality of life NOW good.

She is working all the time.

My daughter is starting to become stressed all the time now too.

I am staying calm, because that is how I deal.

I think we all are hoping that time will fix it.