Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Shit, shit, shit

I just went and got an HIV test. It is a place in the suburbs, that does it for free. I have been two or three times. And it is basically just for gay guys, or people who want an HIv test. I had a hell of an awakening, as I walked in, I noticed a young man sitting in the waiting area. I walked in, and then realized..... Shit... I know this kid. From my real life. He is about 4 years older than my daughter and has been to a camp with her. It has been several years ago, but I have seen him since here and there.
At the moment I realized it, I was committed to being there, and he had seen me. I said, hi, but that was it. We had to sit in the waiting area together for about 5 minutes.
I couldn't leave. I thought there might be a possibility he had no clue who I was, as you know how teenagers are. They never pay too much attention to anyone except themselves. But I'm sure he is a friend of my daughters in Facebook.

Shit, shit, shit...................

I hope it goes no further. I know I can't say anything.
I am neg..... I hope he is the same.


  1. That's not my worst nightmare, but clearly in the top ten.

    From an outsiders perspective and to try to put a positive spin on the encounter, maybe the kid is gay and likes older guys. While that sounds like a nice fantasy the reality is that it probably would be a very bad idea.

    I sometimes wonder if someone else that knows me knows about my secret, and if they talk about it to others. The alternative is to repress all my desires, and that might lead to a worse outcome at some point in the future.

  2. The kid is probably 21 or 22 ish. I don't know that he is out, but I'm sure we will be in the same building again. Maybe I should proposition him. Nash.. Never will. I don't think anything will come of it. But who knows. Small fucking world.

  3. The kid is probably saying "shit, shit, shit" to himself. Who would want the world to know that he might be HIV+? Yes, he will tell his sexual encounters if he is but he's probably wondering if his life will go the course that he hoped it would. For someone his age this must be even more frightening for him than it is for you. Besides, neither of you knows anything about how the other might have contracted HIV (and I hope that you're both negative.)

    Don't worry too much about this. It's unlikely that he will tell anyone else. He probably does not want to talk about it. If he recognized you then he's probably just as worried that you will tell also.

  4. I wouldn't worry about it. it actually may allow the two of you to become friends or coffee buddies . He probably is saying the same thing. You are stronger than you think and will come woth the appropiate answer when confornted.