Thursday, November 5, 2015

What am I in search of?

After a week of masturbating, trying to find a hook up on craigslist or Adam for Adam. Spending a couple of hours naked with other men and a spa, let's just call it a sex club. Or hiring an escort who screwed me, and not at the butt. I wake up in the morning tired and wonder what am I looking for?

I am probably asking this because I'm tired, work is getting overwhelming, life is just blah. 

I guess today needs to be a day of work, and rest. More to come as you can see there may be lots of stories I should tell.


  1. I go through moments of flip flopping between consciously throwing myself into the present and all the highs and lows it entails as they come and then moments of pure reflection and I think it's healthy... Until the analysis becomes regret and not the opportunity of delight in self-discovery and improvement. Like, I just went the other week to work and then got distracted by the apps and left work to fuck around with some guy. That behavior alarmed me. Was It one of the signs that I'm truly addicted? Maybe, but what it is also telling me is that I'm also becoming a little jaded at work and I need to change that. I'm avoiding some things just cause it's hard to do. So that kinda energized me to figure shit out and tackle that head on next...

  2. Maybe it's winter. I, too, have been going through an interesting period. I look forward to hearing some of your stories.