I Don't Even Know Who You Are

We had another of our "discussions" the other night.  I'm not good at communicating.  I know that.  But each time my daughter becomes hard to live with and is mean and belligerent.  The I didn't want children line comes up, which leads to my life is not what I signed up for.  Our scam of a life...... "discussion"  is started by my wife.

I know it is not what we thought it would be...  But it is what we were dealt.  It is scary. It is nerve racking. It is life

We didn't discuss much as usual, but I tell her I'm here, and I don't plan on going anywhere.   Even though she knows she can't trust me.  She then tells me, "I don't even know who you are."  I finally told her, "You can't say that.  You are the one person who knows me best.  I have told you everything.  This is who I am."  She didn't have an answer, but I'm sure we will talk about it later.  If we could communicate about all of this, it might be easier, but I don't know how.

Counseling is too expensive for us right now or I would suggest it again, but I think talking about it may be a way to make it easier.  I think I need to get my head out of the sand, and talk about it rationally.  If only we could talk without raising the level of anger.  I don't deal with that.

She is a hell of a woman, and loves me so much......