On a recent trip to Vegas I was by myself for a night. I worked hard to find a hook up. I needed to be with a man. I had lots of chances, but I needed to do it at a certain time to make everything work right in my schedule. Well, I had a couple no shows, and a I can't wait that long. But I finally found a guy to come to my room. It was about 10:00 pm. He came in, and I could tell he was very nervous. He was out and gay, but didn't ever hook up. (He says.) He was really nervous, and ask a few questions about me being married. He didn't want to kiss, so of course I didn't push. He said that it was to intimate, and I should be saving that, and besides he had a cigarette. I said in the ad, I didn't like smokers. We touched and talked for a while, and he actually wanted to see down there....... he played with me as I did with him. I asked him to lay on the bed. He was fully clothed. We touched like that for a while, then sat back up.
He told me that he was pretty horny and another guy had came by his place, but he ended up asking him to leave. Then he said, "I think I better go." I didn't want him to at all. I needed the intimacy, but he was feeling cheap from all of it. He said he just needed "something" and was looking today for a reason he really didn't understand.
He was so surprised that I needed the intimacy, because I was married. Before he left we hugged. I didn't want to let him go. I think it was a very therapeutic hug. I whispered in his ear that he was Okay. I said, "It is hard to be us, and we both needed to feel accepted."
We hugged for about 10 to 15 seconds. He left. I sent him a quick e-mail that said, thanks for coming by, and that he should not feel cheap. He said he only had good thoughts all the way home. That made me happy........... even though we didn't get naked.... I was happy.
I was in a small Midwestern town the other night as well, and had a few want to stop by. But they were too late this time, and I took care of things another way. I know you get my drift.
As I get older, it is easier to just take care of myself, and go to bed. In the past I would be up till 1:00 waiting for that right guy to e-mail me before I went to bed. I guess I will just wait till it is just right. It is probably much more healthy for me anyway.
I really miss having good sex from a man more often, but I still need a good hug from a guy. I think I crave that more than the sex. Just to hold another guy, letting him know I care, and getting the same energy from him. I really enjoy that first hug.... fully clothed.... feel what he is realy made of. Then as we get more intamate, we hold each other naked, no space between us. It makes me feel so good.