Monday, February 17, 2014

Gay and Perfection

Body perfection in the gay community is a big issue.  Gay men are looking for that perfect gay body. Well, I hooked up with a gay man last week with a man who's body is not perfect.  He had a beautiful picture, but when we talked on the phone, I found out that he was in a wheel chair.  He had a spinal cord injury and had no feeling from his knees down.
I agreed to meet him, but was nervous about what would come of it. I enjoyed my time with him, but I found that he was very needy.  I don't know if that was because of his abilities, or if that was just who he was.  There were some awkward moments as well.  I didn't spend a lot of time talking with him, but would have liked to.  I wonder how being in a wheel chair limits the men he is with, and if the gay community wants more of a perfect body.  

I hate to compare it to being too fat or other body imperfections, but I wonder if it limits the number of men who are interested.   

Just a discussion....

Here is Colby Keller's interview with a gay guy with CP.  Very interesting to listen to.


  1. Some if not all is how a person views themselves. An example would be the Marine with an amputated limb that is now the underwear, he's hot, and it's the same with others. A few months ago I saw this guy walking around shirtless with a huge beer gut, but he carried himself with confidence and I was surprised that he seemed attractive.

    Now having a spinal injury and being confined to a wheelchair is a great blow to a persons self image, and I would imagine that it's not something that you can accept and deal with easily.

    Over at Colby Keller's blog "Big Shoe Diaries" he did an interview with a guy that was paralyzed from the neck down and they talked about how he has sex with his partners. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't quick, but he did it. The guy had a positive outlook, and that made all the difference. If someone doesn't have a positive outlook, there's not much one person in one meeting can do.

    1. I agree with what you are saying. He thought of himself as worthy, and expected others to think the same. I will look for Colby's post. I love to listen and look to/at him.

  2. That's a thought provoking post. I'm glad you shared your experience. There's a kid my city that posts on Craigslist, and Grindr. He too is in a wheel chair, and I've thought about hitting him up. I never have. I'm too much of a coward. Too selfish.

  3. Jack; I was nervous, as I said. He did spend more time meeting my needs than the other way around, but he was very needy after etc.... I don't know that I would call it selfish not to get with him. It might be not knowing, how to act, etc... Give it a try, it might be interesting.