Monday, July 11, 2011

Anniversary of my wife being burdened with the secret

Busy.  My wife has to stay Busy.  This was true even before the Secret.  But now, it is necessity for her.  She has to do it to keep sane.  I know if she stops to think or rest, her mind will go to the big secret I have laid at her feet, and has moved up to her heart.  

I know how much she loves me, and I sometime wonder if leaving her would be the best thing for her.  She could let go of worrying about me.  I pray for her every day. I hope she finds peace in us staying together.  I want her to know how conflicted I am, but I'm afraid to talk to her about it.  How much more honest can I be to her.  Should I tell her my daily feelings, thoughts? 

I want to talk, but don't want to be put on the spot, and relive being an immoral person.  Cheating, not being true to my vows. 

Wow is this a gibberish post. 

We need some focus in our lives.

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