Friday, December 2, 2011

High School Dates

When I was in high school I didn't ever date.  It wasn't uncommon with a lot of my  friends, so many did not find it odd.  I did have my crushes.  I grew up in a small town, and many of those crushes were with girls I knew for a long time.  I don't remember having any crushes on any guys.  I don't think I thought it was possible, so I didn't. 

My first crush was a girl in fifth grade.  I was in the same class as she was.  We actually bought each other friendship rings, and went to the movie together once, if I recall.  I got here and a friend in trouble my sixth grade year, because they "kissed" behind the curtain.  I was probably jealous.  The next girl I tried to "date" was another girl in my class.  he was in my class as well, and I asked her out to the homecoming dance.  Well we  were going to go, and during the football game, after we were done playing in the marching band, I remember that she somehow got word to me that she was not going with me. 

The next "date" I had was my senior year.  I was so upset about never having a date, that I was crying on the bus ride back from some vocal event.  I was upset because I never had a date, and didn't have one to prom.  Wasn't that just the most pathetic thing you have ever heard.  A senior boy in high school crying because he didn't have a date.  Well one of the nice girls, a sophomore, told me she would go with me.  She was a "prom server", so she could go to the dance afterwards, but wouldn't eat dinner with us.  I always have called it my mercy date.  It wasn't very memorable, but I do remember Everclear being drank during the meal at the high school.  It was an uneventful date, but glad we did it in the end.

All of these girls I would still consider friends today. So there were never any hard feeling. 

I never had any serious relationships in high school.  I don't remember longing for it.  I do remember being very emotional in high school.  A lot of times it was with my good friends, ones that I would get drunk with.  I would get drunk and cry about shit.  I don't even know what about now. But, from the time I was 16  we all drank quite a bit. 

Looking back, I don't think I was any different then a lot of other guys in my high school.  We drank, had fun, and didn't really worry about dating much.  I knew that I was attracted to the thought of men, but I don't really thing it sunk in that when I grew up it would be an issue, or that I would have to come out of the closet someday.  I was busy living my teenage years.

I guess it is all related to the fact that I am trying to figure out my "gayness" in my head.  Reliving all the events surrounding my sexuality. 


  1. Your experience sounds so much like mine. I never dated, not once, during high school and never had a girlfriend.

    The times were different, however, and that wasn't unusual. There wasn't the sexualization of everything, the pairing off of couples at an early age. Many of my fellow students didn't have a girlfriend / boyfriend either.

  2. I'm in the same camp as you and Buddy. I never dated (boy or girl) in High School. I had platonic friends that hung out. We were the "good kids." We didn't drink or do drugs. Our parents loved us for being so squeeky clean. ;-)