I started to relate to the Christ Child story. I know it was so strange to look at my story, a story that some would say is devilish and full of adultery and sex, and wonder how can that relate to the virgin birth. You might even call me crazy. But I related to it.
I wondered what I am being asked to do. Mary denied herself of a lot, she followed what the Lord had told her to do. I don't know that the Lord is telling me to do anything, and I have never had an angel like Gabriel come down and sit next to me and tell me what is going to happen and what I should do. Maybe it would be easier if he would. But what I am seeing right now in my life, is going forward. Do what I have been doing. Live My life as a gay man in a straight man's wold. It has worked all my life to now.
Most bloggers I read here have come out. They are ready, that is why they write. I'm just stuck... It is easy for me. My wife told me several days ago, "I'm in this for the long haul." I didn't tell her I was too, but I answered with affirmative silence. Maybe it is my wife that is more like Mary.
Once his mini sermon was finished our choir sang the Magnificat by Giovanni Battista Pergolesi. It gave me goose bumps. I really felt it. Maybe because it was so personal. The struggles and sacrifice that one small girl made to so many people. I hope that my struggles and sacrifice, although small compared to hers, will make a difference to so many people as well.
Peace in Christmas.