Thursday, December 1, 2011

In The Darkroom

PS.  Not my high school.
My last post I wrote about if I was really gay.  Well......  I still struggle some days, because how "normal" things are, but I know who I really am.  But all of this thinking,took me back to when I was a Sophomore in high school. 

I was on the high school yearbook staff. I did alot of photography.  That was in the day of 35 mm film and processing black and white film in the dark room.  I had an assignment to take pictures of the FFA putting up playground equipment.  I went and took pictures of these upperclassmen working.  Some even took off their shirts.  I don't think I acted excited, but I know I was. I snapped some pictures.  Later on it was time to develop and look at what I had shot. 

I went to the dark room.  It was next to the cafeteria, which used to be a gym, and down some steps.  The room used to be part of a locker room, converted as storage, and the dark room. It was locked, and very few people had a key to the room.  If someone entered, they always knocked, not to shed light on someones work.  Well the film was developed, and now it was time to print the pictures.  Getting the cropping just right, and the lighting just right. 

I had several pictures that were just right. For me anyway.  Shirtless guys, sexy, and working hard.  I blew some of them up, but of course had to be careful to not keep any of those in plain sight.  I think that dark room session alone, was a very erotic one, if you get my drift.  One of the pictures made the layout, and I still remember it to this day. 

Did I "know" I was gay.  yeah.   Did I admit it. NO.  As you can tell I'm still struggling with that 30 years later.  Still in the DARKROOM here.

1 comment:

  1. I have a bumper sticker that says: "Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are" Once the initial pain is dealt with, it's SOOO much better living free. Believe me.