I was at a work association meeting last night, and damn, this state is homophobic. I was sitting at a table with a bunch of guys, mostly younger, and in their early 30's. They were all pretty nice looking, and leaders in their field.
The conversation turned to bars in the area I went to college. It was in a small rural town, but there was lots of drinking always going on. One of the guys more my age was talking about a game called "butt darts". In this game, with your cloths on, you would stick a quarter between your butt cheeks, and then you would walk over a pitcher of beer and drop the quarter in the beer. Of course some drinking was involved if you make it or not. Of course that led to some crude jokes about ass and guys and referring to gay sex, but never saying it. I am pretty silent through this as it was all pretty innocent.
Then they started talking about where they were going to go drink after the picnic. They started insinuating about how one of the members of the association was gay. Talking about "him"... etc... I don't have the direct quotes because it was more of a overt thing, but one could take it derogatorily. Of course once again, I can say nothing, or do nothing.
I wonder if I would say something if I was out to most people. If I was in this situation and only the people at the table didn't know I was gay, would I say something? Would I out myself to them. Damn. I'm allowing bullying to go on.