Men on My Mind

It has been bothering me lately that I can't get it out of my mind.  I drive down the street, and I see all humans, well mostly men, as sexual beings. Back in the day, I remember reading that this is all about porn, and it is what porn does to you.  It makes you see all people as a sexual person first.

I do.  I see a guy walk into a restaurant, and I think about what his cock looks like, what he looks like naked.  If he has ever gotten a blow job from another guy.  I don't think about things like what he does for a living, where he lives, or what he is going to order.  I go straight to I wonder if he will have sex with me.

Sometimes I get really annoyed with it.  Especially in the professional setting.  I am currently doing consulting in an office, and one of the main people who is my contact is fucking HOT.  He is stressed out, and needs someone to help him through his job, but every time I see him I think about holding him in my arms, and relieving the stress.  Feeling his naked body.  It is not just because he is hot.  I think about it with old guys, or guys who have a gut.  It is just the first thing I see them as.

I wonder if I would think this way if I had never started to watch porn, or if it is just how my brain is wired.

This weekend I get to spend time with my wife.  We are staying at a 4 star hotel "downtown" and taking in some events.  It should be fun.

I am a little worried about sex.  I don't know why.  I just find it nerve racking.  We have not had sex much in the last three months.  Mostly because she has been sick, or I didn't push it because of my concerns.  Actually since my first trip to Orlando which was January 15th, we have had sex once.  Once a month doesn't seem like much.  I have had sex with that many men in that time period.

I think it will go fine.  Just always nervous when we go away together.  I think part if it that I think she will want to "talk".  I hate "talking", even though I know we should do more of it.