Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Okay...  Look up "liar" This is what you will find:

World English Dictionary
 liar ('lare) ---n    a person who has lied or lies repeatedly
Word Origin & History
liar  O.E. leogere; agent noun from Anglian legan, W. Saxon leogan "be untruthfule, lie"

Well.  My wife HATES liars.  She always has always will.  Who's to blame her.  I don't.  She believes in her mind, she has never told a lie, and never will.  Well.  Yes I have lied.  I admit it.  I will probably lie again.  When you are in the closet, aren't you ling all the time? Examples:
1. A "friend" says to you as he looks at a hot chick and you are looking at the man they are with, "Boy I'd like to get into that. Wouldn't you?"  I raise my eye brows, or make an affirmative nod with my head.
2. Someone says, "I didn't think you would ever get married." You respond, knowing what they really mean, "What does that mean?"
3. Your wife asks on the phone while you are on a trip watching porn, "Whatcha doing?"  You respond, "Watching TV." 
4. The mom of a teenage daughter asks, "Did you stop anywhere?" and daughter says, "No." You say, "Starbucks." Daughter says, "Oh Yeah, I did stop there."
Well over the last two weeks my daughter has made slight delays, or what I would call defensive answering with my wife.  The last one referred to 4. above.  My wife went off the deep end.  Screaming you are ling.  You always lie. This is the biggest fit I think I have seen my wife throw for years.  I told her to calm down, she didn't see Starbucks drive through as stopping.  Well my daughter left as was best, and then I got the onslaught of being a liar, and asking if we needed to revisit every lie I have ever told.  She went to her room.
My daughter and I were on pins and needles the rest of the night.  Earlier, I wanted to even get it on, but I knew that wouldn't happen.  We were talking about 10 year plans, retirement, etc. But,  I stayed clear of her, only interacting when needed the rest of the night. 
Today.  All is okay.  We haven't mentioned it again.
I'm not saying my wife is bad.  Don't hate on me.  I think that she has always been an over achiever when it comes to life.  She thinks all has to be perfect.  All lies are the same, not telling all the story is a lie.  I have made it much worse for her.  I am a liar, I'm good at it.  Hell..... I'm in the closet. In her book, I lie every day. 
I'm struggling with the lie right now.  I can continue to lie.  I'm okay with it.  I just don't know how healthy it is. 
I love her. NO LIE. It is true.  No really I do.  I do love her.  Honestly. Scouts Honor.
Wow, I get why it is so hard for her.   I have to continue to remind her, and let her know in small ways. I heard on a show that says you must say it at least five times a day for 10 days.  Well maybe I should get started.
And ohhh... I've been wanting to say this Since I started typing


  1. "She thinks all has to be perfect. All lies are the same, not telling all the story is a lie. I have made it much worse for her." <----But 'cha not, Blanche! 'Cha NOT!


    Give me a afternoon with the missus, and I think I can pick out a fib or two. We all lie, and no, lies are not all created equal. A few Poles hid Jews in WW2 and spent six years lying to Nazis that there was no one up in the attic -- some of those liars have their names recorded at the Mount of Olives Jerusalem as Righteous Among Nations.

    Nope. You can't convince me that all lying is bad. Some times, it has to be done.

    But lying can be complicated, and it sure is stressful. I hear you about being in the closet. It creates two worlds -- the public fascade and the private reality. It's hard enough to keep up with reality -- but to also maintain that image that you think will be palatable to those around you? Whew!!! That's exhausting!!

  2. I'm all about telling the truth and for maintaining a high level of integrity too.

    Lying for the purpose of deception, fraud or malicious intent is obviously not a respectful action however, sometimes lying is necessary for self preservation (as your example of being in the closet) or to prevent harm (as in "no those pants don't make your butt look big").

    We shouldn't feel guilty if sometimes we get put in the position of telling those so-called "white lies" because there is no bad intention in doing so.